


Whispers in the Dark

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Crazy Love [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She never asked of him what he couldn’t give. She never asked for love, security, or even devotion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whispers in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: teenage sexuality and mention of sexual assault. Nothing is in graphic detail.
> 
> Author’s Note: This story is written in the Thicker than Water universe, where most of the BAU are kids and teens. I was surprised when this character showed up here. I was even more surprised when I was in the middle of typing one story and she yanked me out and brought me into this one. I never had any idea I would write about this character or this pairing. But both captured me like a tiger by the tail and still havent let go.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Megan asked as she listened to the rain fall on the skylight above them. It was a warm night in early June and they were having a sleepover. She liked staying with him; she always felt secure.

“I'm not really thinking about anything.”

“I call bullshit…you're always thinking about something.”

“Some might say I think too much.”

“I wouldn’t.” she shook her head.

“Do you ever miss your father?” Hotch asked.

“No.” Megan lied, her voice turning dark. She took a deep breath. “Why would you ask me that?”

“You asked me what I was thinking about. That’s what I was thinking about.”

“Why?”

“My dad died when I was nine.”

“I know. I'm sorry about that.”

“He was a prick.”

“Ahh,” she laughed a little. “I know all about that. Sometimes I wish my dad was dead. At least then my mom could get some of the support she needed. Knowing that asshole, he changed the will to leave it all to the new wife and the new whore. So even in death he’d still be worthless to me.”

“Why did your parents break up? Do you know the real story or just something they told you?”

“My mother never really told me anything. I heard her whispering with those Dallas country club bitches who used to be her friends. He left her for his whore…one of them. Her name is Cindy. I mean, c'mon, doesn’t that sound like a whore name.”

“I didn’t want to bring it up cuz I know it upsets you.”

Hotch didn’t like how angry Megan was when she talked about her father. At the same time, he knew exactly where that pain was housed. He had a lot of it himself and at least she had the balls to unleash it sometimes. It probably wasn’t totally healthy but he knew from experience that holding it in could be terrible. Megan wasn’t the type to hold back and that’s one of the things that attracted Hotch to her in the first place.

Her stunning blonde good looks didn’t hurt either. But she was much more than a pretty face. There was pain in her beautiful light brown eyes with the flecks of green that was hard to hide. There were times when she was far away, even if she was lying in his arms. He just wanted to keep her safe, make her realize that not every guy on the planet was a deadbeat like her father.

She’d lost trust in the world, in men; in family…he wanted to show her something different. Hotch wasn’t always sure he could do right by her. He was just a 16 year old boy who had his own scars. Megan understood that though. She never asked of him what he couldn’t give. She never asked for love, security, or even devotion.

She just asked for his time, his company; sometimes his shoulder or his ear. She asked for his body as well and Hotch gave of it willingly. He never felt guilty about their sex, which made him feel kind of guilty. He worried that it might not be the best thing to do since he wasn’t in love with her. But he cared about her, was fond of her, and wasn’t using her just because she was giving it up.

Lots of girls at school were, or so the rumors went. Hotch didn’t want to spend time with those girls. He wanted to be with Megan. Did that mean that maybe he felt more than he thought? It was possible but probably better not to think or push too much. They were together now and that’s what mattered.

“Does your father’s death upset you?” she asked.

Megan turned over on her side and looked at Hotch as he lay on his stomach. Damn the boy but she was in love with him. Well at least that proved to her that she wasn’t a sociopath. They were incapable of love. She’d read all about it and feared that might be what she was. She surely wasn’t normal.

Not the way she thought about hurting men; hurting her father in particular. If she had to use her body to do it that didn’t bother Megan. She’d already done it but failed. When she was 13 she seduced her father’s best friend. It was easy to let the creep think he was doing the romancing, or his version. He thought he was bagging a young virgin…that had always been his thing.

He left lots of weeping post-pubescent girls in his wake. So she let him ‘take advantage of her’ and sat through his speech about keeping it between them. She nodded, cried a little; played the role like it was written for her. That bastard had no idea why he was suddenly sick all the time. Nothing in his diet had changed. He still lived on a steady stream of steak, bourbon, and teenage girls.

He didn’t know his bourbon was poisoned though. And not just one bottle but everyone in his liquor cabinet. Someone caught on though, was able to save the cretin before she got her satisfaction. He never fully recovered though, lost a lot of his physical strength. Now the only ass he got was what he paid for.

No other girl would have to be humiliated because of his ‘fetish’ again. God, it felt good to get him where it hurt. It almost felt like she was getting her father. She was never going to be able to touch him. Her mother moved her far away from Andrew Kane; thought it would be better for her psyche. But it wasn’t just proximity that stopped Megan.

Andrew didn’t give a fuck about her. And you had to give a fuck to let someone hurt you. Megan swore she would never give a fuck again the morning she woke up and her father was gone. She went to school that day and came home to changed locks and a moving van. She swore she would never love, never be hurt, and would get back every man who hurt someone because his needs mattered above all else.

When she first met Hotch, she wanted to hurt him. Not because he was like that…he could never be like that. Still, he distracted her from her cause. He was nice, he was sweet, and he was adorable. He was sad like she was but never let the monsters devour him. Megan thought she was so far gone that there was nothing left. With every dark thought and dark act, more of her was disappearing.

When she was with Hotch, she nearly felt whole again. It was both scary and amazing. It was mostly scary. And when her body joined with his, Megan wasn’t doing it as payback. It made her feel good.

He made her feel good. And for that she loved him, and promised never to hurt him. He didn’t know that of course. Well, maybe he did...Hotch seemed to read her as if the words were written all over her skin.

“No.” Hotch shook his head. “He was a prick.”

“Yeah, I heard.” She smiled, running a finger across his flawless cheek. The room was warm, they were both dressed just in underwear, but Hotch wasn’t sweating. “He was still your dad.”

“He mistreated my mother and I. I think it was his fault she…”

“What?”

Hotch clammed up. He took a deep breath in through his nose and out of his mouth. The silence was suddenly heavy, something it had never been with the two of them. He didn’t know what to say. The words that nearly came out of his mouth had never even come close to the tip of his tongue.

Hotch was afraid of what would happen if he said them aloud. He knew he could trust Megan to keep his confidence so that didn’t worry him. But maybe if he said it, it would be real again. It would haunt his dreams and send the fragile walls around him crumbling. He could never put it back in his mouth after it came out. Maybe it would hang in the air for everyone to see.

“Did she kill herself?” Megan asked.

“What?” he could hardly believe what he was hearing.

“Did your mother kill herself, Aaron?”

“Why would you ask me that?”

“I don't know.” She shrugged. “I know my mom tried once, when I was 11. It was right before my dad left. I don’t even know if she was really going through with it or if it was one last ditch effort to get him to love her instead of the whores. None of it worked. She didn’t take enough pills and he didn’t even visit her in the hospital. He was too busy working and taking Veronica to St. Bart’s. That’s where he keeps all the money he hid in the divorce.”

“I thought creeps hiding money opted for the Caymans or Switzerland.” Hotch said.

“Drug dealers like the Caymans and war criminals love Switzerland. Philandering husbands choose St. Bart’s or Antigua. Don’t ask me how I know that or I might have to kill you.”

“Just try it. I know martial arts.” He grinned, unsure how he was able to considering where the conversation had almost gone.

“You know what else you know? You know deflection; you know it better than anyone I've ever met…except for myself of course.”

“I don’t like talking about my family.” He replied.

“I know, and I talk about mine too much. Maybe that’s why we fit so well together.”

“Maybe we just need to find some new things to talk about.”

“We could stop talking altogether.” Her hand ran down his bare side. “Even though you talk when we’re fucking too.”

“Megan…” he covered her mouth with the palm of his hand and she kissed it.

Without even knowing why, Hotch leaned forward and kissed her. It wasn’t a prelude to nakedness it was just something he felt compelled to do. Sometimes he felt like she needed to feel him. He was real, he was there, and it wasn’t just for reasons other guys might have been there in the past. Hotch was well aware, even without much conversation on the subject, that Megan was leaving more behind in Dallas than country club living.

“What?” she smiled. “I think it’s so cute; the way you grunt and moan.”

“Stop.” He laughed.

“Make me.” Megan teased.

Hotch pulled her to him, kinda rough even though he would never get that way with her. He watched Megan’s eyes glaze over. He knew she liked it. This time his kiss was more passionate and she responded in kind. Still, he didn’t go any further than that. She didn’t push.

“Tell me one thing.” She whispered, her lips still close to his.

Hotch felt the twitch in his boxers when her tongue licked across his lips. He gripped her hips.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Tell me one thing about you, Aaron Hotchner. I just want to know one thing.”

He closed his eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair. It wasn’t as if he was secretive with Megan like he could be with everyone else. That didn’t mean he knew what to say to something like that.

“One day I'm really gonna be happy,” he replied. “I swear to God.”

“I believe you. For now you’ll take the little moments?” she asked.

“Absolutely.” Hotch nodded.

“How do you feel right now?” she asked, grinded against him. She knew full well how he was feeling.

She was feeling the same way. That was another thing that consumed her where Hotch was concerned. She felt real desire with him and for him. Before sex was just a tool, with him it was really nice.

Megan didn’t delude herself into thinking it was all rainbows and kittens. She didn’t think that they were making love and not just fucking like horny teenagers do. But still, Hotch would never use her up and discard her. He respected her body, mind, and soul if she had one. She was sure of that.

“I feel excited. I feel,” he bent to kiss her shoulder. “I feel like we can make a little magic.”

“Oh my God,” Megan laughed. “That’s probably the corniest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I've said some corny things in these past few months. It can't be the corniest.”

“I think it is.” She nodded.

“Well, I’ll take your word for it.” he slid her body under his and moved her thighs apart. “So you don’t wanna make any magic?”

“Uh uh, I didn’t say that. I totally didn’t say that.”

Hotch wanted to think of something else cheeky to say but he couldn’t so he just kissed her. He kissed her, touched her, and had sex with her in the dark, warm room. He hoped every time they did something like that that he could bring her in closer from the edge she was always teetering on. Most guys would be afraid of Megan, or fascinated by her.

They would worry, or freak out, that she was gonna fall and surely take them with her. Hotch wanted to save her. He didn’t know if it was possible, even when cried out her name and let go in a way he never experienced before. Maybe he was saving himself but that seemed selfish. The least he could do was save them both.

***


End file.
